Thursday evening I was in Harris Teeter picking up a few things I needed for my apartment when I got the email.
It was from my intermediate multimedia instructor informing us this upcoming semester was going to be tough, but hopefully fun. It had some information about our book and learning center online, but as I came to end of the email there it was: “Have a great last weekend of freedom…”
Oh. my. gosh.
Last semester was my first in the multimedia track and while it was intense, I really enjoyed it. I learned HTML, CSS, Joomla!, Dreamweaver and a bit of Photoshop. I was one of the only students in my class who didn’t have previous experience with Photoshop or Illustrator, and it showed. Thankfully my instructor wasn’t grading aesthetics as much as knowledge – so I
did well.
But this semester is going to be intense. And his words summed that fear up as it sunk in, “last weekend of freedom.” All
of my classes this spring will be mulitmedia based, and while I am excited about it there’s a part of me that’s fearful. Intermediate Multimedia Storytelling, Graphic Design, Photography, Website Design – wow.
It’s hard to believe in myself sometimes. I know my ADHD makes my mind more attuned to many aspects of multimedia’s storytelling (website building, code, etc.), but it’s also prone to procrastination and that can be deadly when my classes require a
lot of outside work. Last semester missing one class made me feel like I fell far behind, and caused injury to my already frazzled
mind.
This frustration is just a part of being at UNC. Since I transferred, the beginning of every semester is first marked with anxiety. “What will my classes require? Will I do well? Will I be able to get all my work done? Will I have time to breathe?” But after the challenge is presented, I’m able to rise and meet it. I know myself and what I’m capable of – so I must remind myself, “I can do it!”
This is my fourth semester at UNC and I’ve changed so much since I transferred here. I never realized I could accomplish what I have accomplished, and become the woman I am becoming. I now believe – we find ourselves when we are truly challenged. Do we stand up or sit down? How we deal with challenge is how we deal with life.
I’ve found myself over these past semesters and I look forward to finding more of myself. With anxiety I will walk forward because I know I must, and because I know – sunshine is just on the other side.